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12/12/19

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (Movie Review)


Columbus may be a rule-bound neurotic with biceps the size of twizzle sticks, but he’s alive, doggonit! And in this apocalyptic world full of the walking dead, that’s quite a feat.

In fact, his life is pretty top-shelf in that respect.

He’s currently living in none other than the White House. Yes, that White House. I mean, why not? And he sleeps in the Lincoln Bedroom with his pretty-but-tough-as-nails girlfriend, Wichita, who’s as sly and hard-edged as he is soft and ticklish.

Sharing their spacious, well-appointed abode is Columbus’ best bud, Tallahassee. (Well, he’s Columbus’ only living best bud, anyhoo.) He’s a redneck guy who actually gets a kick out of massacring zombies with any vehicle or destructive blunderbuss he can get his hands on. In fact, it’s his favorite pastime, other than sitting in the Oval Office and puffing on left-behind cigars.

And then there’s Wichita’s younger sister, Little Rock. She’s a nice kid, but you can see she’s a little restless. She’d like to go and meet someone her own age to hang out with. But the pickings are pretty slim. Any teen guys these days would more likely eat you as a snack than take you out for one.

For that matter there’s a new strain of zombies popping up in the world. Some are slow and as dumb as a brick, dubbed Homers. But some are a lot smarter than your average brain-craving shamblers. Hawkings are zombies that somehow have gotten bright enough to make it past electronic locks and other complicated barriers. And the Ninja zombies are even stealthy in their brain munching kills.

It’s all a bit unnerving. And, hey, flat-out scary at times. But that’s the new reality that Columbus and his makeshift family are facing together.

One thing’s for sure: It’s not boring. I mean, it keeps the blood flowing … in one way or another.

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