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26/09/19

GOOD BOYS ( Movie Review )


Max, Lucas and Thor have been best buds for … nearly forever. As long as the three sixth-graders can remember anyway. They call themselves the Bean Bag Boys, 'cause … well, it's a long story. But that name makes them sound mysterious, right? Right? Yeah, they think so, too.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, this isn't a trio of uninformed kids. They know things. They know all about bad words, for instance. Yep, these tweens spit them out all the time. The four letter words, the three letter ones. Thor even knows a nasty one with seven letters. They know about drugs and booze, too. Hey, two of them even got loaded on two sips of beer … each! Lucas backed out, but he's got a low tolerance for alcohol, so no one can really blame him.

Oh, and they know about "sexing," too. Yep, they know all about that stuff. They've watched porn together and seen men and women do things that would turn your stomach. It did theirs.

What they don't know how to do is kiss. And they need to know about that. You see, Max is really stoked to have been invited to Soren's "kissing party" this weekend. And there'll be girls there. And one of those girls will be none other than Brixlee, the girl whom Max plans to marry someday. You know, if he ever gets the nerve up to talk to her.

Figuring out how to kiss good, however, isn't all that easy. You'd be surprised how little they tend to do that in those sexing videos. The boys tried to practice smooching on a full-sized doll that Thor's dad keeps hidden away in a back room. (Yeah, why a grown man would have a secret doll kinda baffled the boys, too. Maybe it's for CPR practice.) Anyway, they were trying to practice kissing on it, but it was sticky in weird places, so they moved on to something else.

Maybe they can spy on Max's teenage next-door neighbor. She's always hugging and hanging on her weird boyfriend. It's called being a nymphomaniac. And Max is pretty sure those kinda girls know all about kissing.

So don't you worry, the Bean Bag Boys are gonna make this party work for Max. After all, future of his marriage depends on it

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